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Art Guards

by Fishboy

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  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    Purchasable with gift card

      $7 USD  or more

     

  • Record/Vinyl + Digital Album

    - 2nd press on Translucent Blue

    Includes unlimited streaming of Art Guards via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 3 days
    edition of 200  17 remaining
    Purchasable with gift card

      $20 USD or more 

     

  • Record/Vinyl + Digital Album

    Vinyl copy of Art guards with comic insert plus an Art Guard mini painting. Includes digital download of album and PDF of comic.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Art Guards via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Art Guards via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 10 days

      $20 USD or more 

     

  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    A CD version of the album with a 55 page 5"x5" comic book that follows the story of the the album. Both come together in a limited edition hand painted then gocco screen printed chipboard cover. Every jacket is unique, hand painted with a different pattern, and numbered by frontman Eric Michener. Signed upon request.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Art Guards via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 10 days
    edition of 150 

      $17 USD or more 

     

  • Record/Vinyl + Digital Album

    Vinyl copy of Art guards with comic insert. Includes digital download of album and PDF of comic. PLUS A CD version of the album with a 55 page 5"x5" comic book that follows the story of the the album. Both come together in a limited edition hand painted then gocco screen printed chipboard cover. Every jacket is unique, hand painted with a different pattern, and numbered by frontman Eric Michener. Signed upon request. This package includes a random Art Guard Mini Painting. If you would like to request a specific painting send an email. If it's available, its yours.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Art Guards via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 10 days

      $30 USD or more 

     

  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    A CD version of the album with a 55 page 5"x5" comic book that follows the story of the the album. Both come together in a limited edition hand painted then gocco screen printed chipboard cover. Every jacket is unique, hand painted with a different pattern, and numbered by frontman Eric Michener. Signed upon request. This package includes a random Art Guard Mini Painting. If you would like to request a specific painting send an email. If it's available, its yours.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Art Guards via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 10 days
    7 remaining

      $20 USD or more 

     

  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    Want a simple copy of the album but still need something physical? Here's CD in a hand screened chipboard sleeve! Only 50 made, all screened and numbered by Eric while listening to records on a Sunday afternoon in May 2017.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Art Guards via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 10 days

      $10 USD or more 

     

  • HAND PAINTED ART GUARDS JACKET + 12" Black Vinyl LP
    Record/Vinyl + Digital Album

    Limited edition of 14. Art Guards with hand painted jackets. Watercolor on chipboard. Folded and put into plastic sleeve with vinyl. No extra inserts. Download card inserted.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Art Guards via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

    Sold Out

  • Art Guard Mini-Paintings numbers 1-20

    A series of daily paintings and stories, these 3"x5" water color on chipboard portraits are each one of a kind. The backs are numbered and signed with a brief description of the character. Bandcamp only allows the listening of 20 variations within each merch item. Please check out the others if you can't find the one you want. For a look at all of them please look at yofishboy.com/archive All paintings are listed for sale over at yofishboy.bandcamp.com/merch

    Sold Out

  • Art Guards Mini Paintings numbers 61-80

    A series of daily paintings and stories, these 3"x5" water color on chipboard portraits are each one of a kind. The backs are numbered and signed with a brief description of the character. Bandcamp only allows the listening of 20 variations within each merch item. Please check out the others if you can't find the one you want. For a look at all of them please look at yofishboy.com/archive All paintings are listed for sale over at yofishboy.bandcamp.com/merch

    Includes unlimited streaming of Art Guards via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

    Sold Out

1.
Ex-Pitcher 02:24
in 1988 I was a baseball great about to break the all time pitching record of the day most no hitters played I would cement my fate as a no-no hall of famer sad to say I let it slip away because I hate the wave you disrespect the game and everyone who plays If you participate It was the 8th of June and on that afternoon I pitched a perfect tune until the bottom 9th After the second out the wave came crashing down from the pitcher’s mound I pitched ball into the batter’s arm with rage I couldn't concentrate because I hate the wave and on this awful day it starts to rain and the dugout empties of all teammates they curse they claim I won’t get away I try and run but I can't escape then my arm it breaks bone separates And tears of pain stream down my face As I curse the wave for the gifts it gave on this final day I ever play the game and now I’m old and grey I am 68 but things are going great because I still get paid from an endorsement deal for a stainless steel toaster oven with seal of approval upon it engraved and they gave it a name of which I have learned to embrace they call it the wave They are calling it the wave
2.
Fast Foodie 02:19
About a year ago now I was flat and broke out I couldn’t pay my loans down I couldn’t pay the bank for my art degree and like a starving artist I started eating garbage and I wrote about all the things I ate and my reviews now they hit a billion view counts and on the nightly news hour I was profiled for a feel good piece they called me “fast foodie” they acted like they knew me but they didn’t know the man I wanna be now I can live well bills paid with the things that I make what I make is not great and it takes me all day and on this afternoon I eat a candy bar I’m surrounded by a museum of art everything preserved to last a thousand years everything I write instantly disappears it isn't fair so I push a statue that smashes on the ground *I blame it on a kid, and I run*
3.
Art Guard 02:24
Stop right where you are move ten feet back away from the wall where the painting’s at I’m not here to explain what the artist felt I can’t and I won’t and I never will the museum of modern art I watch like a hawk protecting priceless pieces brought to you in part by countless small donations from countless small vacations I’m an art guard (x3) I guard the art (x3) art all around me as I stand a 12 hour shift at 9 am and it all begins to look the same perhaps I’ll understand one day I finally see it clear the beauty in an abstract painting as my world it disappears a toddler in a stroller destroys a priceless sculpture
4.
At 21 I was a young performance artist and around I’d run with art school dudes And we would spend our days perfecting public pieces we would spend our nights acting rude we’d throw food fights make a mess all while dressed up as chefs a single week we tried our best to only speak in adjectives intentions often misunderstood we did it cause we knew that we could performance 209 would be our grande finale on the right foul line of a baseball game our most ambitious piece took days of preparation that October eve we created the wave a lost footnote in history a staple of the mlb created by my friends and me we were only 23 but the wave it long outlasted us now we don't talk all that much We all grew up and all lost touch never speak a mention of the credit But forget it we’re good we did it cause we knew that we could now I’m a 53 small business owner my kids don’t believe me because I’ve got no proof the oldest seventeen wants to be a light technician takes more pictures weekly than I have of my youth and I often think about the days of interrupting baseball games and wonder if I’d be the same if I’d documented everything like kids who come into the store taking pictures when they're bored I pick myself up off the floor acknowledge I created for feeling of creating what’s good I did it cause I knew that I could
5.
Someday I’d like to write an epic story describing life with intersecting storylines nonlinearly written then combined but my life’s nothing new I rarely leave my living room and so I’ve got no point of view worth anything or anybody’s time but that’s alright it could be worse all it takes is some research after months of heavy work I think my narrator’s a nurse she’s strong but shy and my sister who takes pictures well convinces me of a lie to tell I sneak in to a hospital with a fake badge she created so I imitate and I observe pretending I’m a licensed nurse I’ll leave no single stone unturned as I research just exactly what it’s like I will do the research I will do my homework a cat on the fence scratching its chin on every bare winter limb in the yard one day a doctor spies me in the hall, we both lock eyes I nervously apologize then he asks if we can go out on a date I say I may as well research something I’ve never felt he’s got a smile like a Roosevelt uncomfortable and wide and so I try for months to see If this love is what I need but it's not love and awkwardly We now sit across from each other tonight but mostly I just want to write someday
6.
I am an aspiring lighting technician when I was young flashlights hung on the wall I labeled them all cause I loved everyone and my father by his own admission don’t understand why I would stand in the back as the audience claps for an actor or band cause he’s seen how his daughter can sing and he has seen how his daughter can act and he thinks I’d be wasting my life as a li-li-li-lighting tech Oh an aspiring lighting technician needs things to light and so tonight I snuck out of my room to meet up with you guys so may I present my audition for your band I brought my lamps I’m performing a piece to a Tchaikovsky dance I believe light is selfless and giving it helps everyone shine at their best and if more people acted like lights there’d be hope for all the rest and my dad at the back of the room now wipes a tear away from his neck nods his head as he says to himself “she’s a li-li-li-lighting tech” alalalala (repeat)
7.
Actor Doctor 03:53
Oh how I tried to make the most of acting but the most I could find was an infomercial part for a toaster with lights I played the 13th extra as I watched late at night epiphanies did start since 1954 there's been a high demand for nurses and doctors in movies and tv so to keep my job secure I had a master plan I’d do ten thousand hours of method practice just so I could be a doctor an actor playing a doctor waiting for the offer of the role to change my life a doctor an actor playing a doctor but I’m not yet a great actor and the staff is getting wise darling you know I had the best intentions but I could not control the way our hearts collide so I’m letting you know cause I can't face consequences if my lies are exposed and your accessorized and one day you’ll understand I had no other choice you’ll turn on your tv and you’ll recognize a voice behind a podium shouting to a nurse a nurse that he once loved so long ago Is an actor an actor who was a doctor your long lost former lover holding in his hand an oscar for the indie hit of the winter where he plays a love sick doctor a performance he commands And so tonight I break it off But instead of crying instantly you start to laugh and you admit you're not a nurse You are a writer researcher investigating hospitals And I wonder when my life is over If I’ll look back and discover My best days were the times I spent as a doctor
8.
9.
pause for a minute and lets rewind back to the moment where the awful pizza bite was spat from foodies mouth art guard was there and she began for shout while working at the door she lost her museum job a week before and now she’s yelling about a handprint on the table made of sauce and the loss of her job when the statue was smashed a print was left made of messy melted chocolate from unwrapped candy bar the fastest foodie had been reviewing and now the art guard can see it clear she found her culprit, the hand prints matches, she slides across the dinner table grabbing his collar and screaming out curses dear it does appear I’m out of all ideas this could be the last show that I play this year so if you want to show up maybe see my face I’m the frontman in the band playing the pizza place the mess from the foodie table trickled down into multiple laps while heading towards the ground and one by one by one they raised and inadvertently they made a wave that triggered feelings from an old man former pitcher come to ring in his endorsement of the new reopened restaurant as he stands he demands “no longer will I be a punching bag for you to mock with waving hands” To prove he still had skillful pitches he started throwing wads of pizza he damned the wave with dirty language which caused the former performance artist to shout out “ I’m the wave creator! “I will not have it be insulted! he recalled dormant food fight powers the entire restaurant starting fighting wads of cheese wads of dough wads of sauce a cup of soda slammed into the artists glasses provoking reaction from his daughter her first night as a light technician she flashed a bulb at the former pitcher and as he blindly stumbled backwards the artist tackled him with pleasure dear it does appear I’m out of all ideas this could be the last show that I play this year so if you want to show up and see my face I’m the frontman in the band playing the food fight at the pizza place finally the food fight finished out the music stopped and on the lying on the ground was the old man pitcher on his back we thought he had heart attack “you broke my arm again you apes! you had to go and make a wave” the someone shouted out “good lord is there doctor in the house?” we looked around and the actor doctor stepped out of the crowd he looked down at the geriatric said “although I’m out of practice let me give it some attention this might require amputation I but won't know without investigation” supplies were brought from the kitchen he made a cheese cloth sling to carry a splint made out of hard salami we stood around and stared in silence the ambulance arrived with sirens I struck up a casual conversation with the actor doctors former journalist girlfriend And a week it past, we stayed in touch And she interviewed everyone and I turned the interviews into songs songs became a thirty something minute singalong and the moral of the story if I guess there’s one if you are an artist, do not give up Days it might be easy other days it’s hard they can take you down but they can’t take your art

about

Nine songs about nine artists. Thirty something minutes. Pizza. Baseball. Health. Food fights. Art. Digital download includes a 55 page digital comic PDF that follows the album story.

credits

released May 19, 2017

Eric Michener - Guitar, Vocals, Artwork
Grahm Robinson - Drums
Samuel Escalante - Guitar, Keys, Horns
Dave Koen - Bass, BG vox
Howard Draper - Lap Steel on tracks 5 and 7

Mostly Recorded March 28th to April 2nd, 2016 at Elmwood in Dallas and Echolab in Argyle, TX by Matthew Barnhart.
Mastered by Doug Van Sloun

All songs written by Eric Michener (Eric Edward Fishboy) copyright 2017

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Fishboy Denton, Texas

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