Art Guards

by Fishboy

supported by
/
  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    A CD version of the album with a 55 page 5"x5" comic book that follows the story of the the album. Both come together in a limited edition hand painted then gocco screen printed chipboard cover. Every jacket is unique, hand painted with a different pattern, and numbered by frontman Eric Michener. Signed upon request. This package includes a random Art Guard Mini Painting. If you would like to request a specific painting send an email. If it's available, its yours.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Art Guards via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 10 days

      $20 USD or more 

     

  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    A CD version of the album with a 55 page 5"x5" comic book that follows the story of the the album. Both come together in a limited edition hand painted then gocco screen printed chipboard cover. Every jacket is unique, hand painted with a different pattern, and numbered by frontman Eric Michener. Signed upon request.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Art Guards via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    shipping out on or around June 14, 2017
    edition of 150 

      $15 USD or more 

     

  • A series of daily paintings and stories, these 3"x5" water color on chipboard portraits are each one of a kind. The backs are numbered and signed with a brief description of the character. Bandcamp only allows the listening of 20 variations within each merch item. Please check out the others if you can't find the one you want. For a look at all of them please look at yofishboy.com/archive All paintings are listed for sale over at yofishboy.bandcamp.com/merch
    ships out within 10 days
    edition of 20 

      $10 USD or more 

     

  • A series of daily paintings and stories, these 3"x5" water color on chipboard portraits are each one of a kind. The backs are numbered and signed with a brief description of the character. Bandcamp only allows the listening of 20 variations within each merch item. Please check out the others if you can't find the one you want. For a look at all of them please look at yofishboy.com/archive All paintings are listed for sale over at yofishboy.bandcamp.com/merch

    Includes unlimited streaming of Art Guards via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 10 days
    edition of 20 

      $10 USD or more 

     

  • A series of daily paintings and stories, these 3"x5" water color on chipboard portraits are each one of a kind. The backs are numbered and signed with a brief description of the character. Bandcamp only allows the listening of 20 variations within each merch item. Please check out the others if you can't find the one you want. For a look at all of them please look at yofishboy.com/archive All paintings are listed for sale over at yofishboy.bandcamp.com/merch
    ships out within 10 days
    edition of 20 

      $10 USD or more 

     

  • A series of daily paintings and stories, these 3"x5" water color on chipboard portraits are each one of a kind. The backs are numbered and signed with a brief description of the character. Bandcamp only allows the listening of 20 variations within each merch item. Please check out the others if you can't find the one you want. For a look at all of them please look at yofishboy.com/archive All paintings are listed for sale over at yofishboy.bandcamp.com/merch

    Includes unlimited streaming of Art Guards via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 10 days

      $10 USD or more 

     

  • A series of daily paintings and stories, these 3"x5" water color on chipboard portraits are each one of a kind. The backs are numbered and signed with a brief description of the character. Bandcamp only allows the listening of 20 variations within each merch item. Please check out the others if you can't find the one you want. For a look at all of them please look at yofishboy.com/archive

    Includes unlimited streaming of Art Guards via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 10 days

      $10 USD or more 

     

  • A series of daily paintings and stories, these 3"x5" water color on chipboard portraits are each one of a kind. The backs are numbered and signed with a brief description of the character. Bandcamp only allows the listening of 20 variations within each merch item. Please check out the others if you can't find the one you want. For a look at all of them please look at yofishboy.com/archive

    Includes unlimited streaming of Art Guards via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 10 days
    edition of 20 

      $10 USD or more 

     

  • A series of daily paintings and stories, these 3"x5" water color on chipboard portraits are each one of a kind. The backs are numbered and signed with a brief description of the character. Bandcamp only allows the listening of 20 variations within each merch item. Please check out the others if you can't find the one you want. For a look at all of them please look at yofishboy.com/archive All paintings are listed for sale over at yofishboy.bandcamp.com/merch

    Includes unlimited streaming of Art Guards via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 10 days
    edition of 20 

      $10 USD or more 

     

  • A series of daily paintings and stories, these 3"x5" water color on chipboard portraits are each one of a kind. The backs are numbered and signed with a brief description of the character. Bandcamp only allows the listening of 20 variations within each merch item. Please check out the others if you can't find the one you want. For a look at all of them please look at yofishboy.com/archive All paintings are listed for sale over at yofishboy.bandcamp.com/merch

    Includes unlimited streaming of Art Guards via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 10 days
    edition of 20 

      $10 USD or more 

     

  • A series of daily paintings and stories, these 3"x5" water color on chipboard portraits are each one of a kind. The backs are numbered and signed with a brief description of the character. Bandcamp only allows the listening of 20 variations within each merch item. Please check out the others if you can't find the one you want. For a look at all of them please look at yofishboy.com/archive All paintings are listed for sale over at yofishboy.bandcamp.com/merch

    Includes unlimited streaming of Art Guards via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 10 days
    edition of 20 

      $10 USD or more 

     

  • A series of daily paintings and stories, these 3"x5" water color on chipboard portraits are each one of a kind. The backs are numbered and signed with a brief description of the character. Bandcamp only allows the listening of 20 variations within each merch item. Please check out the others if you can't find the one you want. For a look at all of them please look at yofishboy.com/archive All paintings are listed for sale over at yofishboy.bandcamp.com/merch

    Includes unlimited streaming of Art Guards via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 10 days
    edition of 20 

      $10 USD or more 

     

  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    Want a simple copy of the album but still need something physical? Here's CD in a hand screened chipboard sleeve! Only 50 made, all screened and numbered by Eric while listening to records on a Sunday afternoon in May 2017.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Art Guards via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 10 days

      $10 USD or more 

     

  • VINYL edition available at LAUREN-RECORDS.COM

1.
02:24
2.
02:19
3.
02:24
4.
5.
6.
7.
03:53
8.
9.

about

Nine songs about nine artists. Thirty something minutes. Pizza. Baseball. Health. Food fights. Art. Digital download includes a 55 page digital comic PDF that follows the album story.

credits

released May 19, 2017

Eric Michener - Guitar, Vocals, Artwork
Grahm Robinson - Drums
Samuel Escalante - Guitar, Keys, Horns
Dave Koen - Bass, BG vox
Howard Draper - Lap Steel on tracks 5 and 7

Mostly Recorded March 28th to April 2nd, 2016 at Elmwood in Dallas and Echolab in Argyle, TX by Matthew Barnhart.
Mastered by Doug Van Sloun

All songs written by Eric Michener (Eric Edward Fishboy) copyright 2017

tags

license

all rights reserved

about

Fishboy Denton, Texas

shows

contact / help

Contact Fishboy

Streaming and
Download help

Shipping and returns

Redeem code

Track Name: Ex-Pitcher
in 1988
I was a baseball great
about to break
the all time pitching record
of the day
most no hitters played
I would cement my fate
as a no-no hall of famer
sad to say
I let it slip away
because I hate the wave

you disrespect the game
and everyone who plays
If you participate

It was the 8th of June
and on that afternoon
I pitched a perfect tune
until the bottom 9th
After the second out
the wave came crashing down
from the pitcher’s mound
I pitched ball into the batter’s
arm with rage
I couldn't concentrate
because I hate the wave

and on this awful day
it starts to rain
and the dugout empties
of all teammates
they curse they claim
I won’t get away
I try and run
but I can't escape
then my arm it breaks
bone separates
And tears of pain
stream down my face
As I curse the wave
for the gifts it gave
on this final day
I ever play
the game

and now I’m old and grey
I am 68
but things are going great
because I still get paid from an
endorsement deal
for a stainless steel
toaster oven with seal
of approval upon it engraved

and they gave it a name
of which I have learned to embrace
they call it the wave
They are calling it the wave
Track Name: Fast Foodie
About a year ago now
I was flat and broke out
I couldn’t pay my loans down
I couldn’t pay the bank for my art degree
and like a starving artist
I started eating garbage
and I wrote about all the things I ate

and my reviews now
they hit a billion view counts
and on the nightly news hour
I was profiled for a feel good piece
they called me “fast foodie”
they acted like they knew me
but they didn’t know the man I wanna be

now I can live well
bills paid
with the things that I make
what I make
is not great
and it takes me all day

and on this afternoon
I eat a candy bar
I’m surrounded by
a museum of art
everything preserved
to last a thousand years
everything I write
instantly disappears
it isn't fair
so I push a statue
that smashes on the ground

*I blame it on a kid, and I run*
Track Name: Art Guard
Stop right where you are move ten feet back
away from the wall where the painting’s at
I’m not here to explain what the artist felt
I can’t and I won’t and I never will

the museum of modern art
I watch like a hawk protecting priceless
pieces brought to you in part
by countless small donations from
countless small vacations

I’m an art guard (x3)
I guard the art (x3)

art all around me as I stand
a 12 hour shift at 9 am
and it all begins to look the same
perhaps I’ll understand

one day I finally see it clear
the beauty in an abstract painting
as my world it disappears
a toddler in a stroller
destroys a priceless sculpture
Track Name: Former Performance Artist
At 21
I was a young performance artist and
around I’d run with art school dudes
And we would
spend our days perfecting public pieces
we would
spend our nights
acting rude

we’d throw food fights
make a mess
all while dressed up as chefs
a single week we tried our best
to only speak in adjectives
intentions often misunderstood
we did it cause we knew that we could

performance 209
would be our grande finale
on the right foul line
of a baseball game
our most ambitious piece
took days of preparation
that October eve
we created the wave

a lost footnote in history
a staple of the mlb
created by my friends and me
we were only 23
but the wave it long outlasted us
now we don't talk all that much
We all grew up and all lost touch
never speak a mention of
the credit
But forget it we’re good
we did it cause we knew that we could

now I’m a 53
small business owner
my kids don’t believe me
because I’ve got no proof
the oldest seventeen
wants to be a light technician
takes more pictures weekly
than I have of my youth

and I often think about the days
of interrupting baseball games
and wonder if I’d be the same
if I’d documented everything
like kids who come into the store
taking pictures when they're bored
I pick myself up off the floor
acknowledge I created for
feeling of creating what’s good
I did it cause I knew that I could
Track Name: Researching Writer
Someday I’d like to write
an epic story describing life
with intersecting storylines
nonlinearly written then combined

but my life’s nothing new
I rarely leave my living room
and so I’ve got no point of view
worth anything or anybody’s time

but that’s alright
it could be worse
all it takes is some research
after months of heavy work
I think my narrator’s a nurse
she’s strong but shy

and my sister who takes pictures well
convinces me of a lie to tell
I sneak in to a hospital
with a fake badge she created
so I imitate and I observe
pretending I’m a licensed nurse
I’ll leave no single stone unturned
as I research just exactly what it’s like

I will do the research
I will do my homework
a cat on the fence
scratching its chin
on every bare winter limb in the yard

one day
a doctor spies
me in the hall, we both lock eyes
I nervously apologize
then he asks if we can go out on a date
I say I may as well
research something I’ve never felt
he’s got a smile like a Roosevelt
uncomfortable
and wide

and so I try for months to see
If this love is what I need
but it's not love and awkwardly
We now sit across from each
other tonight

but mostly I just want to write

someday
Track Name: Aspiring Lighting Technician
I am an aspiring lighting technician
when I was young
flashlights hung on the wall
I labeled them all cause I loved everyone
and my father by his own admission
don’t understand
why I would stand
in the back
as the audience claps
for an actor or band

cause he’s seen how his daughter can sing and he has seen how his daughter can act
and he thinks I’d be wasting my life as a li-li-li-lighting tech

Oh an aspiring lighting technician
needs things to light
and so tonight
I snuck out of my room to meet up with you guys
so may I present my audition
for your band
I brought my lamps
I’m performing a piece to a Tchaikovsky dance

I believe light is selfless and giving
it helps everyone shine at their best
and if more people acted like lights
there’d be hope for all the rest

and my dad at the back of the room now
wipes a tear away from his neck
nods his head as he says to himself
“she’s a li-li-li-lighting tech”

alalalala (repeat)
Track Name: Actor Doctor
Oh how I tried
to make the most of acting
but the most I could find
was an infomercial part
for a toaster with lights
I played the 13th extra
as I watched late at night
epiphanies did start

since 1954
there's been a high demand
for nurses and doctors
in movies and tv
so to keep my job secure
I had a master plan
I’d do ten thousand hours of method practice
just so I could be

a doctor
an actor playing a doctor
waiting for the offer of
the role to change my life
a doctor
an actor playing a doctor
but I’m not yet a great actor and
the staff is getting wise

darling you know
I had the best intentions
but I could not control
the way our hearts collide
so I’m letting you know
cause I can't face consequences
if my lies are exposed
and your accessorized

and one day you’ll understand
I had no other choice
you’ll turn on your tv and
you’ll recognize a voice
behind a podium
shouting to a nurse
a nurse that he once loved so long ago

Is an actor
an actor who was a doctor
your long lost former lover
holding in his hand
an oscar
for the indie hit of the winter
where he plays a love sick doctor
a performance he commands

And so tonight I break it off
But instead of crying instantly you start to laugh

and you admit
you're not a nurse
You are a writer researcher
investigating hospitals

And I wonder when my life is over
If I’ll look back and discover
My best days were the times
I spent as a doctor
Track Name: Final Frontman
pause for a minute and lets rewind
back to the moment where the awful pizza
bite was spat from foodies mouth
art guard was there and she began for
shout while working at the door
she lost her museum job a week before and now she’s yelling about a handprint on the table
made of sauce and the loss of her job

when the statue was smashed a print was left
made of messy melted chocolate
from unwrapped candy bar
the fastest foodie had been reviewing
and now the art guard can see it clear
she found her culprit, the hand prints matches,
she slides across the dinner table
grabbing his collar and screaming out curses

dear it does appear I’m out of all ideas
this could be the last show that I play this year
so if you want to show up maybe see my face
I’m the frontman in the band playing the pizza place

the mess from the foodie table trickled down
into multiple laps while heading towards the
ground and one by one by one they raised
and inadvertently they made a
wave that triggered feelings from
an old man former pitcher come
to ring in his endorsement of the new reopened restaurant
as he stands he demands
“no longer will I be a punching bag for you to mock with waving hands”

To prove he still had skillful pitches
he started throwing wads of pizza
he damned the wave with dirty language
which caused the former performance artist
to shout out “ I’m the wave creator!
“I will not have it be insulted!
he recalled dormant food fight powers
the entire restaurant starting fighting
wads of cheese wads of dough
wads of sauce a cup of soda
slammed into the artists glasses
provoking reaction from his daughter
her first night as a light technician
she flashed a bulb at the former pitcher
and as he blindly stumbled backwards
the artist tackled him with pleasure
dear it does appear I’m out of all ideas
this could be the last show that I play this year
so if you want to show up and see my face
I’m the frontman in the band playing the food fight at the pizza place

finally the food fight finished out
the music stopped and on the lying on the
ground was the old man pitcher on his back
we thought he had heart attack
“you broke my arm again you apes!
you had to go and make a wave”
the someone shouted out “good lord is there doctor in the house?”
we looked around
and the actor doctor stepped out of the crowd

he looked down at the geriatric
said “although I’m out of practice
let me give it some attention
this might require amputation
I but won't know without investigation”
supplies were brought from the kitchen
he made a cheese cloth sling to carry
a splint made out of hard salami
we stood around and stared in silence
the ambulance arrived with sirens
I struck up a casual conversation
with the actor doctors former journalist girlfriend

And a week it past, we stayed in touch
And she interviewed everyone
and I turned the interviews into songs
songs became a thirty something minute singalong

and the moral of the story if I guess there’s one
if you are an artist, do not give up
Days it might be easy
other days it’s hard
they can take you down but they can’t take your art